Focusing Tips by Fiona Parr

I'm often asked questions which I feel are relevant to many people. So I share my responses here which I hope will provide a helpful insight for everyone involved in Focusing and an overview if you are new to Focusing.
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Do you have any questions about Focusing? Please send them to me, and I will answer in future Focusing tips.

  • All
  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Change
  • Decisions
  • Felt Sense
  • Grief
  • Grounding
  • Inner Child
  • Mind
  • Pain
  • Patience
  • Presence
  • Relationships
  • Self Esteem
  • Stress
  • In these difficult times, it’s easy to get sucked into negative feelings.

    In the winter, when the days are dark, many people struggle with minor and major physical ailments, and it can be easy to fall into a negative pattern of thinking and feeling.
    It’s sometimes hard to pull ourselves out of negative ways of being. These days also carry the weight of world issues...

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  • How often do we take the time to slow down, pause, and really listen to how it feels inside?

    Time seems to change in a Focusing session. People often say how quickly the time seems to go. It’s almost like stretching out time, so you can see more clearly.

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  • I am taking time out to reflect on my journey with Focusing, which continues to unfold and inspire me in unexpected ways...

    I often feel that I am experiencing ‘beginner’s mind’ in relation to Focusing. That after nearly 30 years of practising Focusing in partnerships and swap sessions, and nearly 20 years of teaching, there is so much more for me to know and to learn.

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  • A key aspect of Focusing partnership is to be able to show compassion and be empathic with your partner.

    The Focuser needs to feel safe with you, and they need to know that they will not be judged or criticised. But how do you actually do it, and can compassion and empathy be learned?

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  • Although I rarely make it explicit, for me Focusing is inherently a spiritual practice. As well as meditation, Focusing helps me to stay centred and grounded. It encourages compassion for myself and others.

    If I’m experiencing challenging times in spiritual life or daily life, I have the practice of Focusing to support me.

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  • A Focuser says: ‘Sometimes when I find something difficult in my Focusing, I go to a soothing peaceful place with a calm peaceful lake and I feel much better.’

    There is nothing wrong with doing this.
    ...This enables you to give your friendly, non-judgemental attention to whatever is difficult.
    As long as you don’t stop there...

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  • I often hear people saying they have a resistance to something. They try to struggle with it and get past it, so that they can do what they really want to do.

    Perhaps you have experienced something like this. You want to take an action but something in you seems to be resisting it, or preventing you from doing it...

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  • I have returned inspired from a meeting of Focusing professionals in Europe. We met in Aegina, a beautiful island close to Athens, and collaborated in developing our lively European Focusing Association.

    Our dear colleague and friend, distinguished writer Campbell Purton got us started on exploring what do we mean when we talk about the body. He is a philosopher, and helped us to think deeply about what Gene Gendlin was referring to when he talked about the body.

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  • The life situation you are facing is still the same, and you may be getting desperate because you can’t make it change by Focusing on it.

    It can make a big difference if instead of trying to force it to change, you focus on changing your relationship to it. You can start by recognising that it is there; it has been that way for a long time, maybe as long as you can remember, or maybe you remember when it started, as in the case of a serious illness or mental health difficulty. You can start by bringing a sense of kindness and friendliness towards yourself who is struggling or suffering in this particular way.

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