Focusing Tips by Fiona Parr

I'm often asked questions which I feel are relevant to many people. So I share my responses here which I hope will provide a helpful insight for everyone involved in Focusing and an overview if you are new to Focusing.
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Do you have any questions about Focusing? Please send them to me, and I will answer in future Focusing tips.

  • All
  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Change
  • Decisions
  • Felt Sense
  • Grief
  • Grounding
  • Inner Child
  • Mind
  • Pain
  • Patience
  • Presence
  • Relationships
  • Self Esteem
  • Stress
  • Coronavirus is like a world illness. Any illness is a time to stop and reflect; a period of enforced change.

    I can’t just carry on as I usually do; I have to let go, pause, surrender. When I emerge from the illness, I am changed somehow. There has been a process of letting go.
    I can pick up the threads of my old life, but it’s different now.
    I see this time as a process of change for the world, and we are being affected by it.

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  • Imagine an apple.

    You could name it and describe it. Now try and answer the question ‘what is that?’, without using any words. Keep saying to yourself what is that, and don’t answer in words.
    Notice what comes there. Maybe there’s a sensory response.
    If so, keep going, beyond the sensory.
    What happens next?

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  • A new Focuser asks, if I love something enough, will it change?

    She was referring to difficulties in her life and in herself, that she wanted to be free of.
    Often, we long for something to change and we try everything we can to make that change happen...

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  • In these difficult times, it’s easy to get sucked into negative feelings.

    In the winter, when the days are dark, many people struggle with minor and major physical ailments, and it can be easy to fall into a negative pattern of thinking and feeling.
    It’s sometimes hard to pull ourselves out of negative ways of being. These days also carry the weight of world issues...

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  • How often do we take the time to slow down, pause, and really listen to how it feels inside?

    Time seems to change in a Focusing session. People often say how quickly the time seems to go. It’s almost like stretching out time, so you can see more clearly.

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  • I am taking time out to reflect on my journey with Focusing, which continues to unfold and inspire me in unexpected ways...

    I often feel that I am experiencing ‘beginner’s mind’ in relation to Focusing. That after nearly 30 years of practising Focusing in partnerships and swap sessions, and nearly 20 years of teaching, there is so much more for me to know and to learn.

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  • A key aspect of Focusing partnership is to be able to show compassion and be empathic with your partner.

    The Focuser needs to feel safe with you, and they need to know that they will not be judged or criticised. But how do you actually do it, and can compassion and empathy be learned?

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  • Although I rarely make it explicit, for me Focusing is inherently a spiritual practice. As well as meditation, Focusing helps me to stay centred and grounded. It encourages compassion for myself and others.

    If I’m experiencing challenging times in spiritual life or daily life, I have the practice of Focusing to support me.

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  • A Focuser says: ‘Sometimes when I find something difficult in my Focusing, I go to a soothing peaceful place with a calm peaceful lake and I feel much better.’

    There is nothing wrong with doing this.
    ...This enables you to give your friendly, non-judgemental attention to whatever is difficult.
    As long as you don’t stop there...

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