Sensing, symbolising and resonating is the core of Focusing.

The felt sense – how to find it.

G asks how she can Focus when she seems to be in her head a lot of the time. She finds it difficult to be in touch with her body, and her awareness is mostly in her head. Does this get in the way of Focusing?

I find this is a common question. Maybe this is you. Most of your awareness is in your head. Maybe you find it hard to get in touch with feelings, or you don’t know what you really feel about something. The felt sense is elusive and hard to find. It might also be difficult for you to get in touch with body sensations, or to find a felt sense in your body. I know this is true for some Focusers that I work with.

The first thing to say is, don’t worry! There is nothing wrong with you and you are not doing it wrong. We are all different, and there is no right or wrong here. I often say there is only one way to Focus, and that is your way! The learning comes as you discover what your way actually is, because it’s also not just anything goes. Focusing is a very specific process, and is different from other activities, such as meditation, healing or visualisation.

We could say about Focusing that it is a process of sensing your response to something; symbolising that response; and then checking to see if the symbol fits your bodily felt response. Sensing, symbolising and resonating is the core of Focusing. So how do you do it if you don’t easily get a bodily felt sense?

I have two suggestions here. One is to practice being curious. This is a natural quality that supports your process, helps you to stay connected with it; interested, alert and open. It helps to divert any self-judgement or impatience into a positive way of being with something. It gives your head something to do.

Notice how would you describe it. See if you can find some words or a metaphor that captures the overall quality feel of what’s there, in your head, if that’s where it is. What is it like? This is easier said than done. How can you describe to someone what it’s like inside you, or inside your head? Look for the whole quality of it, and try to capture that in symbols: words, phrases, images. Sometimes some words come seemingly out of nowhere. It’s like hearing the words as they arise, and then just saying them out loud.

My second suggestion is that you look for and try and identify how you know when something is right or is not right. This is the resonating aspect of Focusing. Another way of saying what the felt sense is, is that you look for the ‘direct referent’ in Gene Gendlin’s terms. What do you refer to, when you ask yourself ‘are you hungry’? You could try it now. Are you feeling full or hungry? Are you feeling happy or sad? Or both, or neither, somewhere in between? Where do you go to find these answers? If it’s in your body or your head, it matters less than you know to go somewhere in your experiencing to find out.