Feeling overwhelmed…

When you first start Focusing, you may find that you are deluged or overwhelmed with big issues in your life. There may be things that you knew were there, but have not paid much attention too, partly because up until now, you didn’t know how. I have seen many Focusing students and clients become aware of how little attention they have been giving to themselves and their problems, allowing a back-log to build up that can feel almost overwhelming at first. Sometimes there is a whole lifetime of unaddressed issues, simply because we have never been shown how to address them in a kind, gentle and caring way. After you have been Focusing for a while, you will find the deluge subsides, and you can simply deal with problems and issues as they arise.

There are two specific ways that you can start, when you have several big issues that you could start with. The first is what is known as ‘clearing a space’. You can name and acknowledge each thing that you are aware of. It’s like taking an inventory. It can really help to set each thing out in front of you, helping you to dis-identify with what is there and to see everything more clearly. It helps if you can locate where in your body you can feel it the most, and describe it a bit to yourself. Give it some acknowledgement and let it know that you know it is there. Already this can bring an easing of tension that may be held there.  You are no longer resisting it, but being with it in an accepting way. If you want to ‘clear a space’, see if it would feel right to set it aside for a few moments, and notice where it would like to be put. You can do this with each thing that you find. Notice how it feels in the body when you have done that, and then you can move on to the next thing. There is a track on my Focusing CD to help you to do this, called ‘when there is a lot going on.’

Another way to start your Focusing when you have several big issues that you could start with, is to sense for the whole wood, as it were; rather than the individual trees. You could ask yourself how it feels to have all these issues. Be careful that you don’t then become overwhelmed. You need to have enough distance to be able to sense for the whole of it. What can help here is to try and find a metaphor that describes what is it like. For instance, it maybe that you feel like a small child hiding in a cave while there is a storm raging above. In that case, you would keep company with the child, so that this part of you is not alone any more.

As you continue with your Focusing sessions, you can give some time to each issue. Some problems that have been there for a long time may need you to return again and again, until stuck places begin to ease and your begin to feel freer. You need to have patience, and your efforts will be rewarded.

So how to start? Another answer that I have is to trust the body process and allow it to show you where to start. At the beginning of the session, after you have brought your attention to the body, you can ask in a very open way, ‘what is wanting my attention today?’ And then wait. You are aware of your issues, and you can ask, ‘shall I pay particular attention to this issue today?’ The body will give you a signal, or something will pop into your mind, or you may become aware of some emotion. If you follow it, see if more comes. If not, maybe there is something else. Follow where there is ‘juice’, or where it looks promising.

You may find that you are following a developmental thread over several sessions, or you may find that you jump about to different issues even in one session. There are no right or wrong ways here. It is about following your own inner process. I see it as moving one counter round the board, or taking them all round at once. And as Focusing creates change in one area of your life, it also affects other areas too.