How come my Focusing is different with different Focusing partners?
Have you noticed how different things come up in your Focusing session, when you have different Focusing partners?
You are the same person, with the same issues, and yet when you are with a Focusing partner, something will come up for attention, that would not come up with another person as your partner.
Your body takes in all the information of your present moment experiencing, and responds accordingly. So much is implied, that we may not be consciously aware of, such as the situation, the environment, how much time you have for the session, and how you feel in the presence of this other person.
At the recent Focusing community camp, I had the chance to explore how I feel in relationship with the person I was being a Focusing partner with.
There were two other workshops on the camp that addressed this in different ways.
The one I went to was with Suzie Mackenzie. She gave us the opportunity to explicate what is implicitly there when we sit down to Focus with someone, maybe someone we don’t know well.
I discovered it is perfectly possible to do this, even though we had not had a conversation to get to know each other better.
Safe and Comfortable
I also discovered how ‘safe’ and how comfortable I felt in this person’s presence. I felt the warmth and attentiveness of my Focusing partner; their willingness to listen to me and to give me their undivided attention. That brought a softening in me, and an openness to my inner process. I realised how key this is in a Focusing partnership; that even if we just Focus together once; for that session, my partner will be there for me.
Grateful to my Focusing partners
The experience reinforced for me that what helps my Focusing to flow smoothly and to open to new possibilities, is to have someone else there with me, simply being there and holding the space for me with their attention. I am always grateful to my Focusing partners for doing this. You may be able to also Focus well on your own, without a partner. In that case, you are being your own good companion, keeping yourself company in a friendly way, and holding the space for your own process just as you would for someone else.