‘I sometimes feel locked into the past’

Katrina writes, Although I feel comfortable with myself, I sometimes feel locked into the past and remain unhealed with certain things or issues. I would like to find a way where I am grounded in my body and supported by my environment, but I have trouble at times with my felt sense when I am Focusing, or I don’t always recognise a felt sense as such, when it comes.

It looks like you have three interconnected questions here.

• How to help heal longstanding pain from the past.
• How to feel grounded in your body.
• How to recognise a felt sense on a daily basis.

I will address the second question first, as it is key to the other two, and forms the foundation of any Focusing practice. Being grounded in the body is really helpful, especially when you are Focusing with past pain that has been held in the body for a long time. You need to have a good solid sense of grounded presence in your body, before you bring attention to difficult, stuck or painful places in you. Otherwise you could be at risk of re-traumatising or dissociating.

Here are some ways you can become grounded.

• Use your sensory awareness in present time. Open your eyes and look around. What can you see? Notice three things in the room that give you pleasure. You are aiming to create a good, enjoyable feeling by finding something in your environment that pleases you.
• Close your eyes and notice what sounds you can hear. Are they familiar, comforting in some way? Do some sounds disturb you? Just lightly notice your body’s responses to what you can hear.
• Bring your awareness op your physical body. Especially pay attention to what you are sitting on, and how your body is being supported by the chair, cushion, floor under your feet. You can do this by noticing the pressure of your body against what you are sitting on. Sense the body as a whole and see if it can let go into being supported. You might need to adjust your sitting position as you do this.
• Do an internal body scan, slowly up from your feet, noting each body part; how it’s feeling physically and energetically. Is it warm, cool, tense, relaxed? How easy is it for your to be aware of each part?
• Notice your breathing, and simply follow the breath for a minute or two. This can have a very calming effect in many situations. Don’t do it, if it is not calming for you.
• If you are indoors, in a quiet uninterrupted place, see if you can get a sense of the containment of the room around you. Notice what happens what happens in your body as you do this. See if you can allow a sense of support to come to you from the environment that you are in.
• Notice the weather; what kind of day it is. Allow a sense of support to come to you from the natural environment and notice what happens in your body as you do this. You might find there is more space; more room to breathe as the body recognises that it is being supported by the natural environment.
• Being grounded in the body is not easy for some people, especially if there has been some trauma in the past. It is important to go at your own pace, and not to push things. Keep checking if it feels OK, and stop if not. Start with external awareness and find things that make you feel good or gives you pleasure. It may be a pleasing picture, a lovely smell or something that feels good to touch. Spend time with what makes you feel good, and build your resourcefulness and sense of safeness this way. This enables you to practice Focusing in a safe and supported way.