What’s stopping you?

New Year resolution ideas; what are yours? Many of us take the opportunity at this time of year to make lifestyle changes, perhaps through New Year resolution ideas. I know that I do it every year, and some years are more successful than others, in following though on my commitments and good intentions. How many times do I try to start something new, that I know I want to do, and yet after a few weeks, I realise that I haven’t done it for a while, and my good intentions have got lost.

This year, I am using Focusing to help me with my ‘I want to, but I don’t’ syndrome. And so far, it is helping. So I am sharing my Focusing session with you as an example of two parts of me, that are in opposition with each other and not communicating with each other. They have different points of view and different agendas. And I realised that they have different qualities of life energy. How irrational and contradictory we can be, at times!

Two of my New Year resolution ideas this year was to meditate more, and to practice my yoga and physical exercises. I know I would benefit hugely if I did this, and yet often the motivation is not there on a daily basis. When to do it is often a problem for me. Mornings do not work well. Afternoons? No, not realistic. I settled on early evenings, and I thought of a good way to make a ‘special time’ for my practice. In my Focusing session, it was easy for me to get a good felt sense of how it could be. My body felt alive and energised from within. I really wanted to do it! It was helpful for me to enjoy this good feeling, as a springboard for action. I was looking forward to doing it and I felt I had a really good New Year resolution idea.

Then I turned to the part of me that doesn’t do it. I know it must be there, or I would have done it years ago. It was not easy to find, at first. I stayed with the part of me that wants to do it, until the part that doesn’t began to emerge. I found it in my chest. It felt dull and down, somehow. It was connected to the word ‘down’. Even though I did not understand it at first, I stayed with it, and the image became clearer. It was as if I were keeping company with that ‘down’ part of me. She does not have much physical capacity or mental ability. The energy was flat and low. It was if she wanted me to keep her company, and I sat with her, holding her hand. The energy in my body felt low and heavy.

I stayed with her until the end of the session. It felt important not to try and change things, or to find out more at this stage. It seems she wanted me to be with her in a non-judgemental way, which I did. At the end of the session, I felt grateful to find this part of me. I could say, no wonder I sometimes a struggle to go and do my exercises. And since that session, I have been meditating and doing my exercises a lot more, and I am really enjoying my ‘special time’. And I can be gentle with myself when I don’t. I discovered that my New Year resolution ideas have more traction if I can also acknowledge the part of me that doesn’t want to do it.