Focusing Tips by Fiona Parr

I'm often asked questions which I feel are relevant to many people. So I share my responses here which I hope will provide a helpful insight for everyone involved in Focusing and an overview if you are new to Focusing.
You can sign-up for my newsletter to receive my regular Focusing articles direct to your email inbox.
Do you have any questions about Focusing? Please send them to me, and I will answer in future Focusing tips.

Having returned from a wonderful teaching trip to the Just Being Centre in Pune, India, I want to share a key moment, and what it can mean for your Focusing.

I was demonstrating with a course participant, and after feedback in the group I invited her to share from her perspective.
She said, ‘It is not a technique. Only hearts can do this.’
I was deeply touched and moved. I felt that as a new Focuser, she got it. She understood what it means to listen to herself with kindness and compassion, and she understood the value of having a respectful, unintrusive and gentle Focusing companion. The two hearts listening together allowed a deep opening in the Focuser, and brought a quality of self-acceptance and healing.
It’s the attitude of the Focuser and the companion towards the Focuser’s experience that makes the difference. It provides the right conditions for the felt sense of the Focuser to feel that it is being heard and received, exactly as it is. Then there is room for it to breathe and for it to feel it is being accepted.
New Focusing companions often report a sense of awe and privilege, when they are listening to another Focuser, and this continues throughout their practice of listening to other people in a gentle, respectful way. It is rare to hear exactly what it is like to be another person, to hear how it feels from underneath their skin. And there is no sense of judgement; only kindness and compassion.
And it is rare to have this quality of listening. It’s not like a normal conversation between friends. And this is why I value my Focusing partners hugely, and I want to protect the space that we create together, by honouring our boundaries and agreements, and appreciating the time we spend Focusing and listening.


My colleague Rob Foxcroft has recently published his book ‘Feeling Heard, Hearing Others’. It addresses this exceptional quality of listening, and how you can develop it through personal spiritual practice. You can get a copy by emailing him directly at meditativelistening@gmail.com.
The latest British Focusing Association newsletter is out now. My personal profile is featured in this edition, as well as many other interesting articles. The newsletter is the best it has ever been, and I recommend that you take a look. You can get it for free here.
Exciting news about a gathering of Focusers in Aegina Island, near Athens. If you know Focusing and companioning, you are welcome to come. The meeting will be held at the Magda Hotel from 24.5.2019 – 26.5.2019. The link to the hotel’s website is www.magdahotelaegina.gr. As this is not a conference (i.e. there will be no pre-planned programme), there will be no conference fee and the only costs are for accommodation.If you want to stay at the Hotel Magda before the meeting or extend your stay after the meeting the same discounted rate will apply. More information on the EFA website. It’s currently free to become a member of the European Focusing Association