There are many factors that can get in the way of a fruitful inner dialogue, and I will address some of them here.
1. If the dialogue is based solely in your head and in your thoughts, and not taking account of what’s happening as a body-based inner process. Your body knows more that you are consciously aware of, so if you take time to pause and listen carefully, in those quiet moments something new can come to you…
How often do we take the time to slow down, pause, and really listen to how it feels inside?
Time seems to change in a Focusing session. People often say how quickly the time seems to go. It’s almost like stretching out time, so you can see more clearly.
I am taking time out to reflect on my journey with Focusing, which continues to unfold and inspire me in unexpected ways…
I often feel that I am experiencing ‘beginner’s mind’ in relation to Focusing. That after nearly 30 years of practising Focusing in partnerships and swap sessions, and nearly 20 years of teaching, there is so much more for me to know and to learn.
A key aspect of Focusing partnership is to be able to show compassion and be empathic with your partner.
The Focuser needs to feel safe with you, and they need to know that they will not be judged or criticised. But how do you actually do it, and can compassion and empathy be learned?
Although I rarely make it explicit, for me Focusing is inherently a spiritual practice. As well as meditation, Focusing helps me to stay centred and grounded. It encourages compassion for myself and others.
If I’m experiencing challenging times in spiritual life or daily life, I have the practice of Focusing to support me.
A Focuser says, ‘I have been an introverted person, and now I am moving towards looking more outside myself for help and guidance. Would Focusing go against that?’
Outside help and guidance can be enormously helpful and supportive, for instance by giving another perspective when you are feeling confused, or ‘can’t see the wood for the trees’. There may be times when therapy is what’s needed.
Having returned from a wonderful teaching trip to the Just Being Centre in Pune, India, I want to share a key moment, and what it can mean for your Focusing.
I was demonstrating with a course participant, and after feedback in the group I invited her to share from her perspective.
She said, ‘It is not a technique. Only hearts can do this.’
I was deeply touched and moved. I felt that as a new Focuser, she got it. She understood what it means to listen to herself with kindness and compassion
Have you noticed how different things come up in your Focusing session, when you have different Focusing partners?
…You are the same person, with the same issues, and yet when you are with a Focusing partner, something will come up for attention, that would not come up with another person as your partner… At the recent Focusing community camp, I had the chance to explore how I feel in relationship with the person I was being a Focusing partner with.
‘I feel other people’s feelings’
A Focuser wants to know how she can deal with feelings that are not her own, but she feels them in the presence of another person as if they were her own feelings.
A. It seems to me that you are a highly sensitive person. Sensitivity to the feelings of others can mean that you are also very empathic. You know what people are going through, and this gives you compassion and empathy.
‘I am under a lot of stress’
D says I am feeling a lot of stress. Can Focusing help? My wife is making a lot of demands on me, at a time when I am under a lot of stress because I run my own business, and I need to work a lot to pay the mortgage and the bills. I need to earn enough to keep the whole family of 3 growing teenagers and my wife…
Contact Fiona
T: 01626 821110
M: 07799 027332
E: fiona@fionaparr-focusing.co.uk
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