We all make decisions every day. Some are small and some feel big and difficult to make.
Sometimes life situations feel intractable and there’s no way out of it. Or maybe you feel stuck and don’t know what to do.
This is where Focusing can help.
Decisions
When does having an active dialogue with an inner voice become a waste of time?
There are many factors that can get in the way of a fruitful inner dialogue, and I will address some of them here.
1. If the dialogue is based solely in your head and in your thoughts, and not taking account of what’s happening as a body-based inner process. Your body knows more that you are consciously aware of, so if you take time to pause and listen carefully, in those quiet moments something new can come to you…
I need to look outside myself for guidance
A Focuser says, ‘I have been an introverted person, and now I am moving towards looking more outside myself for help and guidance. Would Focusing go against that?’
Outside help and guidance can be enormously helpful and supportive, for instance by giving another perspective when you are feeling confused, or ‘can’t see the wood for the trees’. There may be times when therapy is what’s needed.
How does Focusing bring something new into your life?
When you are Focusing with a problem or something difficult in your life, I suggest that you only briefly spend time with the ‘story’ of that difficulty.
You already know what that story is, Indeed, you may have spent much time and energy going round and round; trying to find a solution, or to think your way out of the stuckness…
Inner conflict – Part 2
Focusing with conflicting parts
Sometimes change feels unbearably slow, and this can feel worse when there is an urgent life decision to make. Maybe you are desperate to move forward, but something in you is ‘holding you back’. Often, our response is to attack whatever it is that is holding us back; fighting it, getting angry and frustrated with it, and trying to override it.
The Felt Sense – Part 2
How does the felt sense relate to parts?
In a recent article I was talking about how you can tell the difference between a part of you, and the felt sense, which is Dr. Eugene Gendlin’s term for something that can be felt in the body and is at first unclear. In this month’s tips I am going to give you an example from a recent Focusing session.
Eugene Gendlin – Focusing is based on research
Dr. Eugene Gendlin shows how Focusing is helpful.
J. asks ‘When I do meditation I feel it achieves the same as that of Focusing, in that it’s a way of getting into Presence. What are the differences with Focusing?’
I want to be creative but I don’t know how
Someone says, ‘I want to be creative but I don’t know how. I don’t seem to be able to get my project off the ground.’
Why is it that this is so true for many of us? You have ideas of some project or creative venture that you would love to do, and yet it never seems to happen. Daily life takes over and the project gets squeezed out. Or you have managed to create a space for it, but when you are there, faced with the blank canvass or whatever, you no longer have the inspiration or motivation.
New Year Resolution Ideas
What’s stopping you?
New Year resolution ideas; what are yours? Many of us take the opportunity at this time of year to make lifestyle changes, perhaps through New Year resolution ideas. I know that I do it every year, and some years are more successful than others, in following though on my commitments and good intentions.
How do I start my Focusing session, when there are several big issues that I could start with?
Feeling overwhelmed…
When you first start Focusing, you may find that you are deluged or overwhelmed with big issues in your life. There may be things that you knew were there, but have not paid much attention too, partly because up until now, you didn’t know how… Sometimes there is a whole lifetime of unaddressed issues, simply because we have never been shown how to address them in a kind, gentle and caring way.
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