A Focuser asks, ‘What can you do when things don’t feel resolved at the end of a session?’
Perhaps you have a decision to make, or you want to resolve an life issue or problem in your life.
After Focusing on it for some time with your Focusing partner, you may still end up with an uncomfortable feeling, that things are not sorted out as you had hoped.
At the end of the session, you could acknowledge any feelings of disappointment.
Some things take longer to resolve than we want them to…
Change
When does having an active dialogue with an inner voice become a waste of time?
There are many factors that can get in the way of a fruitful inner dialogue, and I will address some of them here.
1. If the dialogue is based solely in your head and in your thoughts, and not taking account of what’s happening as a body-based inner process. Your body knows more that you are consciously aware of, so if you take time to pause and listen carefully, in those quiet moments something new can come to you…
What is awareness? Who is aware?
When you’re Focusing, it is helpful to say ‘I am aware of..’, and then describe what it is you are aware of.
But what is awareness itself?
It may feel like an open, spacious attentiveness. When you are Focusing, it is a deliberate act of turning your attention towards something. It it the context within which all content, all life experiences happen. It has no content itself. It has no particular agenda, of looking for a particular outcome. It has no needs or wants for itself. It just is, a state of being, always and already present.
What can you do if you loose touch with a felt sense, and it seems to have gone?
A Focusers asks: ‘Despite some encouraging success with focusing, I still have a reoccurring familiar problem that often crops up. To me the felt-sense can feel like an intermittent radio signal….’
I see this happening often in Focusing sessions.
You are tracking something and the felt sense is there clearly and strongly. Then, it seems to have gone, somehow. And you are left feeling disappointed and perhaps lost or confused…
Felt senses can be delicate, fragile even.
Focusing has a spiritual dimension
Focusing involves a surrender, and a deep, attentive listening, which is humbling and life-affirming.
This surrender I am referring to is about letting go of personal, ego-driven will. I cannot force myself to change.
If I try, I might find there’s a part of me that digs its heals in, and resists the change more strongly.
Coronavirus – is there a gift in the crisis?
Coronavirus is like a world illness. Any illness is a time to stop and reflect; a period of enforced change.
I can’t just carry on as I usually do; I have to let go, pause, surrender. When I emerge from the illness, I am changed somehow. There has been a process of letting go.
I can pick up the threads of my old life, but it’s different now.
I see this time as a process of change for the world, and we are being affected by it.
Does love bring change?
A new Focuser asks, if I love something enough, will it change?
She was referring to difficulties in her life and in herself, that she wanted to be free of.
Often, we long for something to change and we try everything we can to make that change happen…
Slow down
How often do we take the time to slow down, pause, and really listen to how it feels inside?
Time seems to change in a Focusing session. People often say how quickly the time seems to go. It’s almost like stretching out time, so you can see more clearly.
What a (life) journey it is!
I am taking time out to reflect on my journey with Focusing, which continues to unfold and inspire me in unexpected ways…
I often feel that I am experiencing ‘beginner’s mind’ in relation to Focusing. That after nearly 30 years of practising Focusing in partnerships and swap sessions, and nearly 20 years of teaching, there is so much more for me to know and to learn.
When I find something difficult in my Focusing, I go to a soothing peaceful place.
A Focuser says: ‘Sometimes when I find something difficult in my Focusing, I go to a soothing peaceful place with a calm peaceful lake and I feel much better.’
There is nothing wrong with doing this.
…This enables you to give your friendly, non-judgemental attention to whatever is difficult.
As long as you don’t stop there…
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