C asks: “When I feel I’m whelming up inside, like a watery, tearful emotional ‘aroma’ I can’t seem to be with it; and then later in the day it’s got so big, I end up crying my eyes out and it all gets released…”
You acknowledge the feelings that are there, and then one by one, imagine you are setting the feeling outside your body, somewhere close by… See where it would like to be put….
Anger
Dealing with anger
Like many of us, when I am being with my anger, I find it very hard to get any kind of distance.
Mostly I am merged with it, and I can feel how I am experiencing it in my body. I might be getting a tight feeling in my shoulders or in my stomach area.
If you have overwhelming feelings of anger or rage, I suggest that you concentrate on ‘giving it lots of space’. By that I mean that you take time for yourself to really listen to it and acknowledge the intensity of feeling.
The value of Focusing in these difficult times
I want to say how much I value Focusing in these difficult times.
It is giving me enormous support on a personal level.
I am sure that everyone can benefit as much as I do, even though you may already have support systems in place, such as mindfulness, meditation, support of family and friends, and connection with nature.
Does love bring change?
A new Focuser asks, if I love something enough, will it change?
She was referring to difficulties in her life and in herself, that she wanted to be free of.
Often, we long for something to change and we try everything we can to make that change happen…
Focusing with climate change and other world events
How can we live with the distress caused by climate change, Brexit and other major world events; with climate change being the biggest challenge to us all?
…My experience is that I have lived with the anguish and distress all my life. It’s under the surface much of the time. Periodically I turn towards it, and simply listen….
What comes is how much sadness and pain is there. Something in me finds it unbearable…
As well as hopelessness, I also sensed and recognised the enormous hopefulness I feel…
Building Inner Trust
‘…As a Focuser, I have discovered that I can trust the felt sense, but can it trust me?’
A key to successful Focusing is to develop a positive inner relationship with yourself…
I remember when I first learned Focusing, I used to get cross about the injunction to be friendly with myself.
I felt angry and antagonistic to parts of me that I felt were ‘getting in my way’, or sabotaging what ‘I’ wanted to do in my life.
Can Focusing help me deal with my anger?
Uncontrolled expression of anger can be harmful. So what can we do about it?
Many of us have been brought up to believe that anger is not allowed. During childhood, anger was never given the space to express itself. We were taught to control our anger, and for very good reasons… I remember only too well when I have had an outburst of anger towards a person.
What to do when the mind runs amok? Can Focusing help?
‘Lots of buried anger and frustration’
Q… ‘I’ve been doing some loving kindness practices but it’s as though they are bringing to the boil lots of buried anger and frustration rather then calming my heart/mind. There’s a lot of clarity, insight and wisdom in the anger, but no compassion. ‘
How can I use Focusing to help me with problems in my relationship?
‘Mixed feelings’
Some time ago, a Focuser told me she is struggling with problems in her relationship. She has mixed feelings and is ambivalent in what she really wants. She loves her partner and yet something in her is unsatisfied, discontented.
How can you use Focusing in your life?
Focusing on your own at home
Peter says, he finds it much easier to Focus with someone else being there as a listening companion, (and I agree), but how can he Focus on his own at home?
I recommend that you get into the habit of simply checking in with yourself periodically throughout the day. You can ask yourself, how am I, in there, right now?
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