‘I’m not getting anywhere in my Focusing.’

There may be a number of reasons why you don’t seem to be getting anywhere with your Focusing, and each will need a different response. Perhaps you are trying too hard. Sometimes parts of us feel pushed or pressurized and don’t want to open up to show more of themselves.

When you are under pressure, you will probably retreat, and so it is with parts of you, including your subtle bodily felt sense. It needs to know that it is safe for it to come forward and make contact with you. It wants to feel accepted and welcomed in a nom-judgemental way. You can help it to show more of itself by being friendly and accepting towards it. If it’s difficult to be friendly (because something in you doesn’t like it being there), you can try being curious about it. That encourages an open attitude and gives the mind something to do.

Welcome whatever comes from your subtle body sense, or your thoughts or feelings, no matter how odd or strange it seems at first. They may be something valuable coming, or something surprising, and you can help it come by being open and accepting. For instance, you might be sitting with a vague feeling in your chest and suddenly a fragment of a song comes into your mind. Rather than dismissing it as irrelevant, you could pay attention to it. Maybe some words in the song captures the whole feel of what you are being with. You might find yourself saying, yes of course, that’s exactly how that part of me is feeling.

You will notice there is a release, a feeling of more space there now. Or perhaps the feeling has intensified and is getting clearer. This is what is known as a felt shift in Focusing, and can lead on to further steps and shifts if you continue to stay with it.

There may be other reasons why your Focusing does not run smoothly, and we will come to these in future Focusing Tips.