Focusing with Pain
‘How can I be with physical pain?’
Someone asks, how can I be with physical pain? Can Focusing help? I say, yes it can. It makes a difference in two ways. It eases the pain itself, and it also eases the part of you that doesn’t like the pain and wants to get rid of it. (A perfectly natural response.)
I really valued the sessions that I had with a Focusing partner when we had dedicated Focusing with pain sessions. Both of us have chronic back conditions, and Focusing really helped. The pain eases and is less, there is more ease in the body, and I have more information about how I need to treat my body to manage its stresses.
In my sessions, I found what I needed to do first was to acknowledge and listen to all the parts of me that have an agenda around it. There was the part of me that felt angry and frustrated. It felt limited and held back by the pain and it did not want to be limited in this way. Sometimes it felt like an angry 3 year old, stamping its foot. Sometimes it felt sad, and cried. If you find something like this in you, it needs caring company in a Focusing way. Sense for where it is in your body, that upset or angry part of you. Take your time and describe how it feels there. See what images, words, phrases fit your experience.
Acknowledge the feelings and be gentle and kind towards them. When they let you know they feel heard there will be a release in the body. They will ‘let you go’, enough for you to take your attention to the pain itself. Notice that I did not say, let them go. You need to wait for the body to ease enough so that your attention can go to the pain. If they have not let you go, they will come with you to the pain. That means that you could not sit with the pain without judgement or agenda.
If you can be with the pain, sense into it carefully. Describe it accurately. Even if you have been with it many times before. How is it right now, in this moment? This is Focusing with pain. Pain is not just pain, when you are Focusing with it. There are many sensations, coming and going, if you really pay attention to it. For instance, yesterday when I paid attention to the pain in my back, it felt like there was a pile of rocks that had fallen down a ravine, and they were rubbing up against each other. That is more graphic and precise than just ‘pain’.
As you stay with it, sensing into the body, and describing what you sense, it may begin to tell you what it wants or needs. For instance, my Focusing partner said her spine wanted her to get her hands around it, easing it out. Of course, she couldn’t do that, but she was symbolising and feeling in the body how it would feel if it was ‘all OK’. It was showing her the implied next step. Just the act of doing that shifted something in her body, and helped it to ease and feel slightly better. Over time, and a few sessions, it made a real difference. She was virtually pain free for many weeks afterwards.
Of course, I am not saying that Focusing with pain is the answer to all your problems with pain. You may need to see your doctor, take painkillers, or visit your osteopath, acupuncturist or other healing practitioner. And Focusing can make a real difference as well.
Here are some free Focusing resources for you:
The International Focusing Conference in Cambridge 2016
The British Focusing Association
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