Focusing is relaxing.

J asks, When I take myself into Body Focusing I become too relaxed. I nearly drop off to sleep. My body and mood is very relaxed at the time; probably I’ve come back from a walk, and this is the moment to do some Focusing. I don’t want this sleepiness to take over. Perhaps I’m choosing the wrong time to do this practice? Is Focusing best practised when one has an issue that needs looking at? What can I do to remain alert?

A. Focusing is very relaxing, and so I am not surprised that sometimes you find yourself dropping off to sleep. And I would say that yes, you are becoming perhaps too relaxed. Ways of keeping yourself alert and awake include sitting upright, finding a good time when you are awake such as in the morning, and having a Focusing partner can help.

Although even with a Focusing partner, we can drop off to sleep. I have done this in the past, and I realised that the quality of sleep is very different in the presence of a listening Companion. It shows me how deeply I feel safe and can let go, when I have the presence of a kind and gentle Companion simply being with me in an undemanding way. This underlines the fact that it is the Focuser’s time to use as they wish, and it is not up to the Companion to make sure that the Focuser is using the time to Focus. Maybe sleep is just what you need right now. In the past, I have got agreement with my Focusing partner. Do they want me to wake them if they drift off?

If you don’t want to fall asleep, what might help you to use the Focusing time productively? I think you are right to suggest that finding an issue could be helpful. The key is to be actively engaged in your Focusing process, rather than drifting. You have a lot to think about when you are Focusing. What needs your attention now? Are there other parts of you that are responding to what you are with? How many parts can you keep in your awareness at once? How would you describe what these parts are feeling, and how does the body respond to that? How is your Companion reflecting back and how does it resonate in the body? You have a lot to be aware of.

The act of Focusing engages both the right side of the brain; the non-logical felt sense in the body, and also the left side; that of language and understanding. How do these two sides communicate with each other? There is a great deal of careful listening and checking to do. This all takes alert attention. So I suggest that you sit up and pay attention!! Really listen to your Companion reflecting the words, say them over and over to yourself, and look for a body response, no matter how small or subtle.

When living process is active and engaged, you are very awake. Like a story unfolding before your very eyes, you want to know what happens next. You might feel that no time at all has passed, and yet the session took half an hour. You were involved, and your attention is engaged. You might have had sessions like this.

Sometimes the opposite can happen – dissociation. You might be feeling woozy and sleepy, and it’s very hard to stay with it. It could be a clue that something in you is dissociating; not wanting to go there, or to stay with it. It’s not easy to do this, but the helpful thing is to find out if something in you does not want something. For instance, it may feel like you are opening a ‘can of worms’, and it doesn’t want to do that, so it goes sleepy and woozy. It’s helpful to acknowledge that, and find out more about its fears, as well as describing how the body feels. Perhaps a metaphor comes to you to show you how it feels.

Other reasons for dissociation include not feeling safe to be in the body, or some part of us was not allowed to be there, perhaps right from childhood.

If you do a lot of solo Focusing, it might be helpful to do small Focusing rounds and check in, rather than trying to do a full Focusing session by yourself. Listening to my Focusing CD, Focusing for Everyday Life, can help you to stay on track.