Steps of Change

Here is a technical question, for people who already practise Focusing. Debs wants to know how change can be established in her life. If you don’t already know Focusing, give me a ring for an individual session, or you can join a course.

Debs writes, When I’m Focusing, the felt sense opens up and gives more information whether by a word, phrase, picture etc. And as I sit with what comes, as if it were a friendly messenger, it opens up again, and so on. And there are steps of change.

My question is that sessions seem to be going well and steps are being taken, I never come to a resolution. The time runs out and the following week we start again. I generally focus on the bodily felt sense of the general problem and see what comes from that. And things do come.

Do you think I should, more specifically, be going back the following week to pick up from where we left off the previous week, and to focus on a bodily felt sense from that, rather than going back to base each time?  I didn’t know whether that would be forcing the issue or not?  What do you think? I would very much appreciate your thoughts about this.

A.  There are several things you can do to help the forward movement maintain its momentum over several sessions…

Firstly, I suggest that you take plenty of time at the end of a session, to ‘anchor’ or ‘mark’ what came. Notice how you felt at the beginning of the session, and notice how it feels in your body now. Has anything changed? Does it feel a little lighter or easier somehow? Have you received any helpful information or positive images or symbols coming during the session? Knowing what you know now, how will your life be different? Or, how could it be different? This may involve active imagination, as well as ‘sensing forward’.

Other ways of doing this are to directly invite the part that you have been with to let you know how it wants you to be with it after the session. It may want to be consulted or acknowledged when a specific situation arises, or some time every day.

I have heard Gene Gendlin say several times that it’s no good having a wonderful Focusing session if nothing changes in your life. So there needs to be some kind of bridging at the end of the session, out into your everyday life. And these two ways I have suggested can really support that – anchor and receive any changes in your body, and any symbols you have associated with it; and keep checking in with that place during the week.

In that way, it is easier when you come to your next session, to check back in with the place or part that you were with last week. It is not forcing the issue to recall where you got to last time, and to see where it is now. You can do it gently, in an inviting way, by saying, ‘I am checking with that place I was with, to see if wants my attention now.’ Sometimes something different will come from the body, so we start there. There is no pressure.

Over time, you learn to trust your body’s process. You can recognise that change is happening over time, and it will bring you back to that place, when it is ready. There is no harm in checking in with it, to see if it wants your attention this session. You can also invoke it, by revisiting the issue associated with it. That usually brings something right there.

Ending a session is just as important as starting it. It’s important to respect the body’s process, by thanking and appreciating what has come, and recognising that you may still be incomplete and ‘mid-process’.

Vulnerable places that have just opened up may feel reassured if you let them know you will come back. You are taking care of these places, and they can begin to trust you more. And the crucial stage of ‘receiving’ happens especially at the end of the Focusing session, so take plenty of time with it. Give acknowledgement to what has happened it this session and notice any changes, no matter how small or slight. It is all contributing to the forward movement.