Focusing Tips by Fiona Parr

I'm often asked questions which I feel are relevant to many people. So I share my responses here which I hope will provide a helpful insight for everyone involved in Focusing and an overview if you are new to Focusing.

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  • All
  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Change
  • Decisions
  • Felt Sense
  • Grief
  • Grounding
  • Inner Child
  • Mind
  • Pain
  • Patience
  • Presence
  • Relationships
  • Self Esteem
  • Stress
  • When you are Focusing with a problem or something difficult in your life, I suggest that you only briefly spend time with the ‘story’ of that difficulty.

    You already know what that story is, Indeed, you may have spent much time and energy going round and round; trying to find a solution, or to think your way out of the stuckness...

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  • I have just come back from the first BFA Focusing community camp and I am totally inspired...

    Each workshop brought fresh new understanding and discoveries. I left the workshop wanting to explore what it means to me, and how I may take my new learnings forward.

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  • It is natural to want reassurance when something isn’t right...

    The most important thing about Focusing is to trust the process of the implicit unfolding of the wisdom of the body. Sometimes it can be all too easy to rush ahead and want to fix things before they have had time to be fully heard, received and acknowledged.

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  • If you take a moment now, you can notice how you experience 'limitation' in your life.

    How often do you experience life as difficult? Sometimes it feels like we are beset by limitations, struggling against adversity and limitation. Or do you feel like your life is filled with a sense of possibility? And is a sense of limitation ever a blessing?

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  • Uncontrolled expression of anger can be harmful. So what can we do about it?

    Many of us have been brought up to believe that anger is not allowed. During childhood, anger was never given the space to express itself. We were taught to control our anger, and for very good reasons... I remember only too well when I have had an outburst of anger towards a person.

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  • A Focuser asks how to get rid of her debilitating anxiety, which can sometimes take her over and even lead to panic attacks.

    This is a surprisingly common question, although perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised, as we all live with anxiety to a greater or lesser extent... It is probably made worse with uncertain times in our world situation...

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  • Present moment awareness

    J asks ‘How can I stay more in the present moment? I know that being in this state of immediacy is the best way to be, but somehow I'm moving ahead, making plans, and I miss being in the moment.’

    It sounds like you have a lot going on in your thoughts. And we do need to plan ahead, but it can get in the way...

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  • Focusing with conflicting parts

    Sometimes change feels unbearably slow, and this can feel worse when there is an urgent life decision to make. Maybe you are desperate to move forward, but something in you is ‘holding you back’. Often, our response is to attack whatever it is that is holding us back; fighting it, getting angry and frustrated with it, and trying to override it.

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  • I received the sad news that Gene Gendlin, who developed Focusing, died yesterday.

    I was very fortunate to have spent a day with him about 10 years ago in New York. I was touched by his humility, humanity and kindness; as well as a fluidity of spirit, genuineness and humour. His lightness and depth of being made a great impression on me...

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